The first year (and it passes relatively un-noticed)

Today is the anniversary of when I came out to Mrs Kate, an event which at the time was as difficult for me as the day we got married and the days since have been just as comfortable, accepting and happy. Thank you my love for being so supportive, and not just for me, but for the new girl-friends we've made... being accepted by a real girl is the validation any t-girl wishes for.

Ok enough of the slushy stuff! - I write this towards the end of the first coming-out-anniversary and how did I celebrate it? - well, having to work for starters... but taking some comfort in a little shopping between trains in Birmingham. I bought a blue satin top and black skirt; the skirt was the sort that has very little in the way of elastic in the waistband so I thought it better to select a slightly larger size so it fits more comfortable - when I got it home I was rather surprised to find that it was way too big for me!... and it falling around my ankles; at this rate it might have to be a size 14 (I'm still around a size 16... or at least I used to be!). Oh well, will have to see if we can exchange it at a local branch or wait until the next visit to Brum.

Saturday
Last Saturday we did a very late excursion to the Village to meet up with one of our special girl-friends Karen and the 'gang'; we arrived at Naps for about 11pm - straight from home, which felt a bit strange to say the least - to be going out around the time we're usually preparing to retire for the night. Whilst it was brilliant to see Karen and the others from our little 'gang', much has been said in Mrs Kate's blog about that - read that for the details ... but I just want to mention the situation prior the arrival of girls, with a certain pushy guy who seemed to take more than acceptable interest in Mrs Kate. 'D' has stated that I gave him 'daggers', looking at him as he attempted to put his arm around her waist.... to be honest I was rather bemused by the brass-neck of this guy; more from a perspective of how Mrs Kate might deal with him? - it was obvious we (Mrs Kate & I) were 'together'... but he clearly missed the bleedin' obvious (typical male - that doesn't sound too sexist does it?!)... thinking about it, I'm seeing it all from the other side of the fence; two girls out without the protection of an alpha-male?

'D' handled it reasonably well although I sensed she wasn't as confident as she makes out since she was in relatively unfamiliar territory; but the guy fortunately got the hint without the liberal application of a left-handed slap across the face!

And that excursion was the latest ever we've been out... hmmm!... it was heading towards 5am before my head hit the pillow.

Pondering moments...

The last week or so has been a difficult time for a couple of girlfriends I now count as my closest friends - which is a strange situation for me as in the past, I can't really say I ever really had a best friend - except for Mrs Kate who is my special friend; but I'm really talking about the complete strangers that we come to trust and perhaps to rely upon for that bit of support; to laugh with, shed tears with, but most of all to be there with.

One friend in particular has had a really awful time with a representative of the same authority group that is supposed to protect us; despite great strides in understanding and tolerance, there are still some folk who abuse their position - without a doubt, a definition of a bully. And I really hate bullies - although I've learned from Mrs Kate to pity them since the universe will one day redress the balance.

Next week will be 12 months since I 'came out' to Mrs Kate - like the Queen, I wonder if that might count as my official/unofficial birthday? But one thing is for certain, the last 12 months has had a profound impact on me; even life-changing? - all far more positive than I could have ever wished for when I started out on this journey; but the main thing for me has been acceptance of just being myself... hmmmm ... on second thoughts, I still need to work on that; I still get confused with the whole 'him' and 'her' thing, especially as we've come to realise that sexuality is no longer a binary definition.

Universe in balance

Mrs Kate has often referred to the little 'gifts' from the Universe that sometimes turn up - her most recent was a nice zebra print halter-neck dress and of course the re-appearance of the 'forbidden fruit' shoes.

Today we went to the Trafford Centre and in New Look, the 'forbidden shoes' were on display; they even had them in my size, but to Mrs Kates dismay, there weren't any to be had in hers (shoe size). We decided to go and have some lunch, and for me to ponder about a lovely pair of the forbidden shoes in my size. As we made our way to the exit we saw some lovely fur jackets. Rather bizarrely, one of the jackets was marked at £25, £10 less than all the others. We couldn't see anything wrong with it, so we decided to slip it back into the rack between all the others and let the Universe keep that for us too - after all, if it was meant to be, the jacket and the shoes would still be there later.

Lunch was leisurely and lovely, and on our return we found the shoe racks had suffered similarities to a 'bun fight', they were in disarray with various shoes tried and discarded all around; but the forbidden shoes were all gone. But what of the lovely fur jacket? - the Universe had protected it, it was still where we left it amongst all the others. And as though as compensation for all the forbidden shoes being taken, the jacket had a further £5 discount when we went to pay for it at the till!

As time goes back (for an hour)

Today the clocks went back an hour, reminding us that Winter is approaching, and for some perhaps the formal start of 'tranny season' - not that it's made any difference to us. The fab four have been out together when we can (Lisa, Diana, Mrs Kate and myself), but mostly it's been the die-hards Diana and myself when either of the other two couldn't make a Wednesday; although I had to miss one due to official 'Bob' duties. Missing that outing to Canal St. ended a Wednesday record that remained unbroken since March; Diana is the winner, I don't think she's missed a single Wednesday since the last time the clocks changed. Relevance of the picture? - this time last year, the view from my closet.

Saturdays have also been entertaining; especially for Diana who last week misplaced a couple of hours due to an excessive fondness for white wine (good on ya' girl!). The same evening was largely forgettable for Mrs Kate who unwittingly went floor-surfing in Naps - without the aid of any excessive fondness for white wine. When asked how she managed to fall over, she was at a loss for words - through the week her bruised knees have passed through all manner of different colours (sorry, my love).

Yesterday we went Teelas (Transpose), to look for a couple of party frocks in the Sale; and we weren't disappointed - picked up a couple skirts, a couple of dresses, some figure-shaping items and a TLC kit for my poor wig which seems to be suffering the frizzies at the moment. Mrs Kate was a little more reserved - bright red arm-length gloves and a little makeup.

The spray-on conditioner sorted my favourite wig just fine; I've been washing the wig and following the instructions carefully, but it's while I'm wearing it that the ends get all twisted and knotted. This stuff seems to have made quite an improvement; only Wednesdays outing will prove otherwise - which this week will (as likely) follow a Halloween theme; I have an outfit in mind .... assuming I'm brave enough (or should that be 'daft enough') to wear it!

Busy Saturday

The title mostly reflects that we've recently added Saturday evening to our visits to Canal St; mostly so Mrs Kate can avoid feeling as guilty for being out to the wee hours on a 'school night'. Not that it really matters much to her; it's poor old Kate that has to bring the bacon home.

The previous Saturday, Diana joined us. We tried to book a table in Velvet, but that's proving difficult due to a recent surge in popularity - I think a subtle mention it got on 'Corrie' has given it a boost (Shaun played by Anthony Cotton managed to slip it into a conversation). So alternatively, we booked a table in Taurus; which is still pretty reasonable but lacks a little of the atmosphere that Velvet has.

Anyway, despite the weather being quite poor (windy and lots of heavy rain), we ventured out, agreeing to meet Diana at AXM. But we found AXM to be not only closed, but well and trully boarded up. So where would we find Diana? - as the weather was quite foul, we made our way poste-haste to Taurus where we planned to call Diana to find where she might be sheltering; as we passed View, she ran out after us. Apparently, the doormen at View had 'looked after' Di - indeed this proved invaluable later as they gave us the VIP treatment and let us in ahead of the poor folk stood outside in the rain.

But despite this special treatment, View was quite busy so we decided to move onto Naps. Naps was not without it's share of problems for the evening; they were late opening the upper dance floor due to mopping up the rain water that had leaked in from the roof. But once sorted, we stayed until the wee hours as we danced to our favourite music.

When it was pumpkin time (actually, it was well beyond midnight!), we rescued our coats from the cloakroom behind the bar; as I was putting mine on, someone groped my bum.... now I'm not particularly used to this but I certainly decided not to react to the attention I got, but I carefully noted the group most likely to be involved ... I'm going back next week to check (honest!).

The following week
Much of the same except Mrs Kate and I were alone; both Di and Lisa couldn't make it. From Taurus (yes!, Velvet was still as popular as ever!) we went onto Naps where the music selected for the evening was even better than before and proved to be more popular with Mrs Kate. We managed to make it as far as about 1:30am (relatively early!) before we decided to retire; I think we were both a little under the weather.

No one groped my bum on the way out (I don't know whether I should feel disappointed!) but a couple of girls sat on the couch near the entrance did indicate their disappointment as we were leaving so early!

More new shoes

Whilst I was preparing my last blog entry (my first outing in the real world), a parcel arrived with my new shoes from Next. I've been waiting for these to arrive for the best part of 6 weeks - worth the wait don't you think!

Don't try adjusting your screen, they really are those colours - red toes fading to dark grey at the heel.

I've already paraded them around the house, much to the dismay of Mrs Kate who has insisted I didn't walk around in the kitchen in case I put a mark in the lino.

These heels are not as big as the courts I bought from New Look, being much shorter by a whole 1/4 inch! Can't wait to test-drive them!

Another first - let out in public

Met the real public! - went to the Trafford Centre dressed as conservative as I possibly could, although wearing my 'faithful' heels I was probably topping 6ft!

And what brought on this moment of madness? - well, as rock climbers often say - 'because it's there'! Or to put it rather geeky :-

• Opportunity - kids back at school; Mrs Kate available for support and all round goodwill; not being at work;
• Need - to visit the MAC counter for some decent foundation since the Boots own brand just wasn't cutting it on some occasions (colour was OK, but it's a bit 'watery');
• Passability - erm... reasonable in my own mind, but let's not fool ourselves, accept I will be 'read';
• Nerves - should be able to keep them in check... it's all in the mind... it's all in the mind... it's all in the mind (isn't it?).

The tension started to rise as we approached the Centre, particularly as I changed into a lane which another driver wanted to occupy - but clearly he was the one on a mission and after all I was just playing my part in being girly (sorry to all RGs; no slight intended!). After we parked, I went to get my shoes from the carboot; only to be stared at by a girl driving past in a 4x4 - had she read me? ... no, it was simply my skirt had slipped whilst driving and as I bent over the open boot, I was flashing my knickers to everyone (don't you just hate that when it happens!).

So stage 1 over with; stage 2 - getting into the Centre and choose a nice restaurant to have lunch. Our favourite had since been replaced by an 'Ego' restaurant; Mediterranean style with a nice reasonably priced menu. The restaurant is one of those quite open continental sort; I decided to sit with my back to any potential audience, but I had to contend with the occasional furtive glance from the 4 or 5 waiters who clearly were acting a little like they'd never seen a tranny before - although despite this, they were courteous and attentive, one even asking 'what can I get you, Ladies' (quite right too!).

After the waiters lost interest, I began to settle into my surroundings - even looking around to see what was going on. Being it was mid-week and during the school term, it was fairly quiet. Except for the new mothers union sitting about 20 yards away; about 6-8 mothers and their first born all having lunch together interspersed with synchronised 'bring the baby out of the pram' sessions every 15 minutes whether baby was interested or not.

We left the restaurant and crossed the entrance hall and ascended the stairs; this was a little tricky in heels as the marble floor and steps were quite slippy. But I managed to maintain my dignity and we entered into the Great Hall where lots of people were sitting at the various cafes. A number noticed me; only a few stared as they walked towards and past us; I didn't see anyone give us a second glance. As long as I was able to walk on and beyond them I was quite happy; if we stopped, that's when I felt I was starting to draw unwarranted attention. From the Great Hall, we went to Selfridges; our mission to see the nice girls at the MAC counter for a suitable foundation with good coverage.

'Emily' the assistant at MAC was brilliant. She removed the foundation I was hiding behind and applied the one we selected between us. This stuff was very good - it had to be at just short of £20 a bottle, and complete with the powder, not much change from £40 - but it was worth it!. We looked at a few of the other dozen or so makeup counters; Mrs Kate even had her eyes made-up; .... and her hair straightened by a very determined product demonstrator. Though the hair straightener did a miraculous job, the miraculous price of £90 dissuaded Mrs Kate from purchasing one ... for the time being anyway!

They say 'time flies when you're having fun', rather surprisingly, we spent about an hour around the makeup counters. From here we looked at the rather pricey handbags and then upstairs and out into the main 1st floor shopping area. From here we mostly window shopped; tried to find Boots (and failed miserably!); saw some nice party dresses in 'Quiz',though the sizes were a bit small - even for Mrs Kate. We asked the sales assistant if they stocked larger sizes - apparently they can go right upto size 18 (wow! - not!) but only really get those sizes in stock towards Christmas. So another trip to be planned later in the year?

Epilogue

In a strange sort of scary way, I enjoyed it. Did folk give me any hassle? - no, generally folk were either not interested or never seemed to notice, although I got a few stares from a group of Asian males that was a bit un-nerving. But rather curiously it was a group of Muslim women each wearing a habib that appeared to give me a wide-berth whilst I was queuing in the Body Shop to pay for a makeup brush.

Despite those minor negatives, I would do it all again. As likely with my first visit to Canal St, I'll soon find myself asking whats the issue?