A (first) night on the town

So by the end of November I had done the 'Tea with Teela' bit - although having tea and a few cakes hardly amounts to getting out, but it's a start.

Kay suggested an outing to the Village where we could have a meal and include the Northern Concorde christmas 'do' in the guided tour. Having bought a couple of new outfits the week before with my good lady, I was itching to try them out and in the real world. The only thing I was short of was a decent wig - the only one I have doesn't withstand scrutiny close-up; but what do you expect for £6 from the local fancy dress shop?

So I arranged for a consultation at a well known, t-girl friendly emporium where the very nice lady there, demonstrated a few wigs on me and persuaded me to go for a brunette 'bob' style. Now I was determined to be blonde.... but the nice lady was very good in directing me to a colour and style that was more natural and matching my complexion. So in short, despite what you might think you want, it's worth paying a little extra and getting sound advice from the nice lady!

Ok, so I've got everything sorted for the evening out? - well I better jump to that part of the story hadn't I?

Kay kindly offered to pick me up enroute to Manchester, the arrangements being that she would collect me between 4:30 and 5pm. By the time we managed to negotiate the rush hour traffic, it was getting on for about 6:30pm when we arrived at the car-park near Sackville Gardens (for those who know it - the one near 'tranny towers'!).

By now my nervo-meter was probably at about level 6 (level 10 requires some sort of sedative and/or breathing exercises!), as we walked past Sackville Gardens and on towards Canal St ... the famous 'Village'. The first place we called into was AXM, to put the final touches to make-up, hair etc. Then Kay directed us along Canal St. towards Taurus bar and restaurant. She duly pointed out the various establishments, indicating those which were more t-girl friendly than others, but I wasn't really paying a lot of attention, my nervo-meter was at about level 8 now which seems to interfere with anything you might wish to commit to memory.

As we crossed over a street we passed a lone t-girl walking back the way we came; she was blonde and was wearing a shortish dress, it looked quite good on her. She must have been freezing! - I was glad I had my fur-lined leather jacket; but I did think that at least we weren't the only ones around this evening.

At last we arrived at Taurus and was duly greeted by our host with a cheery 'hello girls' and a welcoming smile. Our host guided us past some of the other groups in the resturant and to our table. 'What can I get you girls to drink?' he asked with that lovely smile again - I felt that being refered to as '...you girls' although intially strange, rather comforting. The bar was populated with a number of students and a couple of xmas office parties that had reached the end of their evening. Being the only two t-girls in the bar I was a little sensitive to any glance in our direction, but Kay put me at ease; after all if you go to a bar or restaurant in the Village, what else might you to expect?

Eventually two more girls came into the bar; Kay saw them walk in, but the way we were sitting, I didn't dare turn around to look at them in case I drew attention to myself. The only opportunity I had was as we were leaving and saying our goodbyes to our host; the girls were stood at the bar, both very slim, blonde and very convincing! Hmmm ... perhaps being brunette is more unique after all?

From here we went to Northern Concorde; I've never seen a place filled with so many t-girls at the one time .... come to think of it, I haven't been too many places where I might find my kind anyway! Lots of girls, so many different outfits, so many names to remember..... Jane, Nicki, Rachel, Marie... and list could go on if I could remember them all. I was nervous yet comfortable ... what a strange combination of feelings ? - nervo-meter down to level 5. There was music, dancing, and if you were brave enough, Karaoke ... but would you have thought in room full of guys brave enough to go out dressed as girls, Karaoke would be a cinch? .... I guess it's easier to dress than sing!

After NC we stopped by at Naps; another bar/club, where girls get in for free - this is where a number of the girls from NC had moved onto so there were quite a few familiar faces. The bar is on the ground floor with a dance floor upstairs. Kay said that the dance level is usually quite noisy, but on reflection, the dance floor was a lot quieter than the bar area so we stayed up there when we went up to see what it was like. It took me back to my clubbing days when I had the rare opportunity to go to a disco; all black lighting and good music.

After Naps, it was pumpkin time; to go home and rather depressingly remove some of the makeup on the way - after all, only my wife knows back at home but there's still the need to evade the rest of the family - in case they're still up.

Kay was an absolute star right the way through the evening. Throughout she loaned me some of her confidence which helped no end, and delivered me safely home just before 1am, as she promised. Thank you Kay!

So far so good?

I actually 'came out' to my wife in November; although I've been looking for the right moment for quite sometime. I'm not going to get into the philosophy of it all because what works for me might not work for someone else; but needless to say, with 20+ years being together we each have a pretty good understanding how the other thinks and feels.

You see, I had reached a time in my life that I wanted to get out and meet others like me, to ask questions to see if others feel the same as me, am I unique or am I a special case ... am I going nuts? - at least I found the answer to the last point a confident 'no'!

Anyway, back to the story; I arranged with Kay Denise to go along to 'Tea with Teela' a monthly event that takes place at a local dressing agency; Kay offered to be my guide for the evening. Now I don't like lying and I certainly didn't want to lie to my wife so when she asked where I was going this particular evening I simply said 'to meet some friends I chat to on the internet', and that everything was 'cool'. Of course as any good partner does, she pressed for some clarity as what this might mean, so I eventually told her that I wanted meet others that liked to dress in womens clothes.

The penny dropped quite quickly to this (as you might imagine!), she didn't really need to ask the next question as to whether I was going dressed... but she did - but bear in mind that over the long period of our relationship, my wife had made quite a number comments and observations as to my 'more girly than most guys' demeaner, which I have always taken to be quite encouraging signs. Despite the question, I managed to evade answering it directly - opting for a small steps approach, reiterating that despite what I had just said, I was still 'me' and nothing had really changed. We talked for sometime and laughed a little at some of the situations a revelation such as this might make, but we agreed to keep it all just between the two of us.

Although she was initially a little upset on hearing all this, she was relieved; apparently she thought I had some interest in wife swapping or something!.

So that evening, I went along to 'Tea with Teela', met Kay and a number of other girls and had a very nervous time! - next time I plan to be a bit more relaxed and at least try some of the cake on offer!

And as for my fantastic partner; well, she accepted a new-but-not-so-surprising-side to me, and a few days later insisted that we should go shopping together to the Trafford Centre. Kate got a couple of new outfits, a nice fur-lined jacket, shoes and so on, and we had a lot of fun. The following day she showed me how to put makeup on - although it wasn't so different to what I had been doing for myself for sometime, perhaps a little more subtle than what I had been used to.

She then insisted that I try on my new outfits to see if they fitted ok - after all, when you're in 'Bob' mode, you can hardly try them on in the shop can you? So I put on my nice new sparkly top and skirt and asked my wife if she would be comfortable in seeing me in the full get-up? This was to be the first time she would meet 'Kate' and she was ok - upto a point; she made it quite clear she wasn't comfortable with me being touchy-feely with her ... which for me is a little dissapointing since we are both quite tactile on showing our affection for each other. Oh well, perhaps all in good time... my only hope was that I hadn't put her off altogether.

The moral of this tale so far is that you can't rush into anything. If like me you're fortunate enough to broach the topic with your partner and survive, the secret is to introduce further information a little at a time and at a pace she can accept. Small steps... that's the key!

Ok - here we go.... out of the closet

For me I never really saw the point of 'blogs'; often thinking they were just a way for someone to brag about themselves or go on about what sort of sad life they might have. But I found myself starting to read and relate to a few, mostly those that have had many trials and tribulations in discovering their inner female.

I guess my journey is no different to others; except perhaps mine is a little more positive than most - I have a lovely partner who has been described by others as a 'real gem'; and she really is. I guess the many years we've been together, the moments we've shared have somewhat prepared her for the day I effectively 'came out' to her.

Whilst coming out to my lovely wife was perhaps indeed a shock to her (and worth mentioning here that it was one of the biggest for me!) , she took it rather well and in an almost 'not surprised' sort of way. For me I couldn't live with the lies and deceit and wanted so badly to be able to share my thoughts and feelings with her. For those who are still in the closet, you will know what I mean.

However, 'coming out' to one's partner is not something you should rush into... there are many tales of woe that can be read about in the many t-girl forums that exist; but I thought I would address the balance a little and at least establish a blog from a 'girl' who has been lucky enough to get the support of her long term partner as I take the initial tentative steps out of the closet.